This is a conversation that happened at my house on Monday.
As I was walking out of the room Haven (age 10) asks... "Mama? How does a boy and a girl make a baby?"
Me: *stopping in my tracks, frozen* "Uh, kind of like how our bunnies do it."
Haven: "So they just jump on each other?"
Me: Sometimes. *reaches for some Xanax* "Uh, not exactly. Kind of like that but not exactly. Ask Daddy when he gets home."
Haven: "But how will I know how to do it if you don't tell me?"
Me: "You will figure it out. AFTER you're married."
Haven: *exasperated sigh*
Me: *sigh* "Ok, it's kind of like bunnies, but you're facing each other without your clothes on." *hyperventilating*
Haven: O_o "But there's hugging and kissing involved?"
Me: *dying* "Uh, yeah. But it's private, you know."
Haven: "What do you mean it's private?"
Me: "Well you don't do it in front of anyone else like the bunnies do, and you don't always do it to make a baby. You do it whenever you want. WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED."
Haven: "Oh, so that's what you mean when you say no one can touch our privates but the doctor, Mama and Daddy and our husband or wife?"
Me: "Uh yeah" *passes out*
Haven: "But how exactly does it happen? Is there a book or something that tells you how?"
Me: "Uh...uh... Yes, and I'll buy it for you as a wedding present!" *runs out of room screaming*