Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What The Chuck?


I've got nothing really to blog about today, so I thought I'd post one of my favorite lists. Oh yeah, the one about Chuck Norris. Who doesn't love Chuck Norris? You don't? Then you must not know all the facts about Chuck Norris. Go ahead and educate yourself...


1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has
more money than you.

2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always
in control.

3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.


5. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


6. MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but
Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.


7. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick
related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

8. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

9. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

10. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything
around you.

11. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the
element of surprise.

12. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

13. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for
Chuck Norris.

14. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

15. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has
allowed to live.

16. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with
Chuck Norris.

17. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

18. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

19. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

20. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

21. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

22. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing
the Earth down.

23. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in
the back of the head.

24. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

25. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

26. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

27. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

28. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

29. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a
DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

30. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a
Chucktatorship.


And my personal favorite...

31. Chuck Norris can read Bella's mind.



For more facts about Chuck Norris visit www.chucknorrisfacts.com

17 comments:

  1. I was looking at pages of flair on facebook (I know, sue me) and one of them had little arrows pointing up, down and side to side at its neighboring flair with the caption "Something about either Twilight, Chuck Norris or kittens"

    AND IT WAS RIGHT

    And I don't even follow your blog that much, but I THOUGHT OF YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my. My father was a huge fan of Walker, Texas Ranger. I think that he liked it because it cleared the room when it came on. He just wanted to be by himself :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHA! I love these :D
    I think one of my favorites is "When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, he doesn't get wet, the lake gets Chuck Norris-ed."

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is hysterical. I'm definitely going to my husband read this. He loves to watch Walker, Texas Ranger much to my chagrin.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Our DVR is actually filled with Walker episodes. I married into such good taste.

    Thanks for the laughs! (I've considered cutting and pasting entire passages of Hitchhikers on mine just for something to post, but I think that'd be, like, copyright infringement or something.) ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is really funny!! I loved watching Walker Texas Ranger with my dad ^^

    ReplyDelete
  7. Those are HYSTERICAL!! It kind of reminds me of those Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the Universe ads.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is the funniest list!! Thanks so much for posting it!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a great laugh this gave me. I loved the one about him suing NBC... and of course reading Bella's mind. LOL ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. 21. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.


    Bwahahaha!

    I'm not even a fan of Chuck Norris, but this makes me laugh *everytime*

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't know, but a couple years ago my sons came home and they were hysterical over Chuck Norris jokes going around school. They STILL laugh at any mention of him at all. I never did figure out why. Or is it one of those "why ask why situations?" I will have to print this list out for them. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  12. When I was younger I though Chuck Norris had super powers. This was fun.

    ReplyDelete
  13. When I was younger I though Chuck Norris had super powers. This was fun.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My husband annoys me with Chuck Norris trivia from time to time. I must say that the last one is a good one though :o)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. Some of those are pretty special. Another fist. Hee!

    ReplyDelete