Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Best Laid Plans

So you know how sometimes you have this idea... and at the time it SEEMS like a really good idea, but later you end up wishing you had never thought of that?

Remember when I thought it would be so cool to have a bunch of rabbits running loose in the backyard and how fun it would be to look outside the living room window and see bunnies hopping around?

Well we did our preparation, putting barriers under the side gates so the bunnies couldn't dig under and escape. But what I didn't realize at the time... there is no limit to how far down a bunny can dig. Especially our one bunny Crookshanks. She could probably dig all the way to China if she wanted to. Oh don't you go telling me that it's impossible to dig all the way to China. Crookshanks could've done it. You remember Crookshanks, don't you?

She was the freaky evil bunny we picked up from the shelter. Well, apparently Crookshanks decided to dig herself a tunnel that went all the way under our house, and gave her access to our crawl space. And while she was under our house, she thought it would be SUPER FUN to remove all the insulation she could get her little evil teeth on and drag it back through that hole and scatter it on the side of the house. She chose the side of the house that rarely gets traffic, which is why her little insulation party went unnoticed for so long. By the time we discovered it, we covered up the hole, only to find the hole was re-dug the next day. Busy little evil bunny.

At one point Marshall started hating the bunnies. I still felt some sort of responsibility and affinity for the hoppity-hopping bunnies (except for the one busy little evil bunny). Marshall wanted to take action. I wanted to change the subject.

Marshall: "I'm really not liking the bunnies. Something needs to be done about them."
Me: "Hey, did you know they now make Twilight-Edward Cullen Body Shimmer powder?"

Well, several days ago Haven (whose job it is to feed the bunnies) noticed that he hadn't seen Crookshanks around. I thought to myself, hey, maybe she actually did dig all the way to China and now she can bother her new Chinese family with her evil deeds.

Sometime Saturday I realized there was a faint but funky smell whenever I walked into our bedroom (which happened to be over the crawl space where the insulation was removed from). And then I put 2 & 2 together and said to Marshall... "uh, I think I know where Crookshanks is". He said he also had smelled that faint but funky smell in the bedroom and he thought I might be right. So I did what any normal person would do... I placed a bunch of Yankee Candle potpourri around the bedroom to cover the smell so we could sleep in peace.

Sunday afternoon Marshall put on his grungy work clothes to prepare for going under the house, cause ewwww... it's gross down there, even without a potentially decomposing evil bunny.

Marshall came back inside 10 minutes later. Yes he found Crookshanks. But he couldn't actually reach her. She was deep in the tunnel that she had dug from the side of the house to the crawl space. So while he was under the house, he used the shovel to fill in that side of the tunnel. When he was back on the side of the house, he used the shovel to fill in the other side of the tunnel. Then he came inside, got on Twitter and wrote:

"Had to bury one of our bunnies. Actually the bunny kinda buried herself and I just filled it in. It's a long story."

And I would feel sorry for the bunny except 1. she shouldn't have dug a hole she couldn't get out of, and 2. she was evil.

Apparently the bunny can't even rely on Haven for sympathy. Yesterday he said to me, "Crookshanks made a grave mistake, digging that hole... get it? GRAVE mistake? Hee hee".

Apparently he's inherited my sick sense of humor.

So that leaves us with three remaining bunnies. Luna Lovegood is still in the cage because she doesn't play well with others and if we let her loose it would be a hoppity-hop fight to the death between her and Spike. Spike and Hedwig remain free in the backyard. For now.

Marshall is totally over having backyard bunnies. So Spike and Hedwig... your time running free in the backyard has come to an end. You have two choices.

You can choose this:

or you can choose this:

So. What'll it be?


  1. poor bunny!!

    but kind of funny?

    I hope the bunnies choose the first.

  2. Oh my...at least Crookshanks passed away doing something that he loved :)

  3. He just wanted to be FREE, woman! That's all! That's not too much to ask - now is it?



  4. I'm finding myself doing this while reading your post: Grrrrr...bad bunny, awwwww...sad, dead bunny...ewwww...nasty smell...giggle, good joke:) So many emotions for one post. BAHAHAHAHA

  5. I laughed, I cried, ... well, I really just cried from laughing. Sorry evil dead bunny.

  6. I'm pretty sure it means I have no soul, but I thought this was hilarious. People always think bunnies are cute and fluffy. My sister had bunnies while we were growing up. They were mean and bit. I mean, seriously, has NO ONE seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

  7. Oh dear... what troublesome bunnies! I suppose if nothing else, it's good that you're rid of the evil bunny. I'm fairly certain that if I had an evil bunny tunneling under my bedroom, I would be having nightmares...

  8. Ok, while bunnies are cute, they are a huge pain in the neck. They won't even sit when you tell them too! Not very smart animals.

    Please write a book - you are so funny! Insulation party, you kill me!

    At least crookshanks is in bunny heaven now where there are endless supplies of insulation and dirt!

  9. You know.......I use to have evil bunnies growing up. I hated them. Yes I hate bunnies..they now as an adult frighten me. You never know what is turning in that little head of theres. Your bunny post is going to send me back to a therapist due to repressed memories now coming back of my evil bunnies. Wow I just remebered there name Moonlight and Midnight. Ohhhh goodness, I really don't like bunnies.

  10. Never EVER a dull moment over here at Journey to Family!!

  11. I don't know... I don't really think it's funny. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I think it's an awful death for him, to starve to death in a dark place where he probably couldn't turn around. Awful :-( Rest in peace, bunny.

  12. Reason #5729 that I don't have pets!
    You're just fueling my fire here.

  13. The real question is - what animal are you going to get to keep your numbers up?!!? :-)

  14. An adorable purple hutch, of course! Loved the Edward powder comment. *giggles*

  15. Crookshanks has gone to that great tunnel under the house in the sky...

  16. We used to have pet bunnies when my oldest was 1. Then we moved to TX and now we have bunnies that roam and eat every flowering plant that is in their path. I am so loathing bunny rabbits. They also tease the dog and she digs under the shed to get them because they run under there.
    You ever need any more, come on over, in the spring I'm sure there will be a ton running around.

  17. I don't envy anyone who has to crawl inside a "crawl space". Ewwww! We have had rabbit before and it's not too bad.

    Love the last picture BTW!

  18. Poor evil bunny. Yet another reason I will not be getting one. This and my fear that I'll wind up with Bunnicula. Remember that one? Vampire bunny?

  19. Okay...only you can turn a sad story of a dead bunny into something so funny. I'm cracking up at Marshall's twitter comment. Never a dull moment.

  20. Is it bad that I started laughing when you said that you thought it would be cool to have bunnies in the back yard? We had bunnies growing up. Until they ate our house (seriously). Frosting and Hoppy were cute bunnies though....

  21. Oh this second picture is just wrong! lol
    We have one small sweet little bunny. She lives in a large cage in my daughters bedroom and she loves her like crazy. I know that bunny wont live forever but it's going to break my daughters heart one day to loose her.

  22. I love that! I mean, I feel bad for the dead bunny, but what a funny story! and that last pic. had me laughing outloud!

  23. Oh. My. Waaah? Ew. But wicked funny!

    We had an evil bunny once too. My Dad said he released her in to the forest.

    We lived in Boston.

    Where, exactly did he release her, I wonder? Boston Common? The Public Gardens near the Swan Boats? The median of Route 495?

  24. Oh, you wouldn't!

    You know, in Florence, they hang the bunnies in the meat shop by their hind quarters. All skinned and everything.

    Put you can still totally tell it's a rabbit. :(

    I saw marshall's tweet. I can't believe he got in the crawl space. *gag*

  25. I read "Watership Downs" a long time ago but I seem to remember that European Bunnies dig tunnels and have warens. I think maybe rabbits down by Texas & Mexico do too.
    Anyway cottentail rabbits and rabbits in the north east do not so try getting a cottentail.

  26. Haven Rocks!! Loving his sense of humor :)

  27. Julie, there is only one you in this world. I can't imagine going anywhere else and laughing over a dead bunny.

    Did they choose the hutch or the stew?

  28. Bunnies can make SUCH a mess! We have had them, and they are not as easy as you would think

  29. Oh that poor evil bunny!

    I really enjoyed your post though. The potpourri comment slayed me. ;o)

  30. The picture option of bunny in the pot does it for me! But why isn't he dyed purple already, in view of you Parthian shot below last comment?

  31. The potpourri slayed me!! Gotta love it! Great story.