Sunday, November 16, 2008

Are You Smarter Than A Two Year Old?

Remember this big girl bed we just transitioned Marlie to? Well there has been a few complications. First off, she kept pulling out the shelves. They're kind of heavy and could probably hurt her if they fell on her. Telling her not to touch them wasn't working. Eventually I had the idea (uh, thanks Mom) to use earthquake putty to attach them to the brackets holding them up. Shelf-complication solved. (what, doesn't everyone have earthquake putty?)

The other major complication has been the doors. You see, they have a pretty strong magnetic latch on the inside, so when you close them, they make a loud bang sound. Which is not so conducive to sleeping when you hear bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang (you get the idea), bang, bang, bang, at various times throughout the night and early morning. And if Marlie was the kind of child who would obey when you're not watching her (which she is not), then a simple "Do Not Touch Your Doors" should've stopped that behavior. But instead, no matter how many times she was reprimanded, no matter the consequences, she could not overcome the impulse to bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. She has been waking up her brothers, who think the banging is from someone outside their windows trying to get in the house.

What to do... what to do... First I thought of a straight jacket. But hey... that's just not right. Cause I'm pretty sure they don't make them small enough to fit her. Then I thought of duct taping the doors shut. Duct tape solves a lot of problems. It helped solve the diaper diving/finger-painting-with-poo problem. Though duct tape is not so aesthetically pleasing. Unless of course you have purple duct tape like I do. You all know I have purple duct tape, right? Cause you should.

Honestly, though... even I admit purple duct tape wrapped around her doors probably won't look the best. So we endured several more nights of bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang because we couldn't figure out what to do. Threats to make her clean the cat litter boxes just weren't working.

Finally, Marshall had a brainstorm. REMOVE THE KNOBS. And that is what he did.



The morning after, Marlie proudly said, "Daddy! I didn't open the doors!!!". And Marshall, (with a smirk on his face) replied, "Yes I know you didn't."

And that's because we're smarter than a 2 year old. Though after she turns 3... all bets are off.

25 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
    Welcome to my world.
    I'm glad you know the difference between smart and naughty- although sometimes the outcome is the same....

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  2. So sorry... as you know my little one loves to wake me up to tell me all about his bathroom experiences...

    clever with the knobs! Go Marshalll, still I would have loved to have seen purple duct tape... and seriously, I had no idea they had purple duct tape...and I don't have a clue about that earthquake putty... I am so confused living over here now!

    Sleep well tonight!

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  3. How clever of you two! I don't think I would have thought of that! I may have to borrow your duct tape diaper idea because my girl will NOT stop taking her diaper off. Luckily, she hasn't done it yet when she had a poopie one, but it's just a matter of time. Shudder.

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  4. Julie,

    You just launched me into reality of having a small child again! After reading the bang, banging, I need an aspirin...then you went there with the little hand in the poopy diaper. I thought that one was just a rumor...

    The bed looked so innocent in the first post. Who would have thought?!! LOL!

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  5. I relate to this post better than I wish I did...

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  6. You had me laughing through the whole post. She is too funny! Very clever with the knob thing. When you think about it, that would have been the easiest thing to do, but I wouldn't have thought of it first either.
    Good job!

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  7. Hilarious! LOL!, but no, I am not smarter than my 2yr old: I tried to do that to my sons night-stand... can you believe that he took a crayon stuck it in the hole and then attached a block to the end of the crayon and was able to open and bang the door again??? Aaaahhh! we weren't so lucky!

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  8. Oh my gosh, you guys are so smart--I'm reading along and that didn't even occur to me! Of course I was distracted by the purple duct tape. I want some. Where the heck did you find PURPLE duct tape. Wow. I think of you now every time I wear purple. Seriously, and I smile to myself; sometimes I laugh out loud if I'm wearing purple AND reading Twilight. I think my kids are wondering about my sanity.

    Oh, and I also didn't know there was such a thing as earthquake putty. Go figure.

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  9. Oh my goodness that is too too funny.

    What a little stinker she is! I hope she maintains that same curious spirit into her adult years.

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  10. Wow, your girl has spunk ... which doesn't sound so great in the middle of the night :) Glad you solved the problem for now and that sure is a cute bed!

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  11. My girls are constantly devising new ways to do things. Things that I never would have thought of. And most of these "innovative" ideas...well...they are certainly irritating. :-)

    I am uber impressed that you found a way to outwit a two year old. Uber impressed...

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  12. This was so funny! ok, maybe not for you, but I enjoyed it very much.
    THAT bedding?! Yeah, I'm an LM collector. I even collected a penpal back in 2001 when I sold a woman some LM stuff (I had extras)for her daughter. We are great friends now. I'm so thrilled I found you, can you tell?

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  13. Just the fact that you own purple duct tape makes me smile.

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  14. I.Need.Earthquake.Putty.

    When you posted that picture I was sitting here thinking that your two year old must be much better behaved than mine. Because she would have figured out every way to irritate me or hurt herself with it by the end of the first night.

    Good to know we're not the only parent's trying as hard as we can to out-think our knee-high booger. :o)

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  15. Oooo, gotta love it! Of course the whole time I'm thinking "hey just take out the doors and shelves" but I suppose that would kind of ruin the aesthetics of the room, huh? :) Gotta love the two year old who REALLY loves her new bed.

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  16. Right...after 3 all bets are off!

    My oldest just turned 11...OH MY HECK. I get dumber every day and she gets smarter...it's true.

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  17. That is hilarious. Marshall, you are smarter than a 2 year old. Congratulations. :)

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  18. hilarious post! And why haven't I heard of earthquake putty? Or duct tape in a variety of colors? Go figure. I have a feeling that our girls are kindred spirits. Thankfully, Zoe's still in her crib, which is where I plan to keep her for as long as possible!

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  19. Yea...it is funny how long it takes us to be smarter than our kids. My husband made our boys a vw bus bed complete with a steering wheel,doors and a bench seat. How dumb are we!?

    It has taken our kids about a year to get the picture that they aren't supposed to play in it at night time. "Here's a giant play thing boys...now go to sleep!"

    Oh the lessons of parenthood!

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  20. LOL! I have to admit that I would have never thought to remove the knobs.

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  21. This is so funny. I think congratulations are in order, because you DID outsmart your 2-year-old daughter. Like that saying says, "age and treachery will overcome youth and enthusiasm every time." Keep up the great parental "treachery" :)

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  22. LOL! Glad Marshall figured out the knobs before you found a straight jacket!

    I love purple duct tape...it is on my suitcase to make it more recognizable at the airport!

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  23. lolol...that is to funny!!! good job dad on removing the knobs...lol...:)

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