Thursday, February 28, 2008

Like a Sickness


So I promised this would not become a painting blog. I’m determined to keep that promise. The problem is, my blogging brain has turned to mush.

It used to be that once I got into blogging, everything that happened in my life I considered in terms of how to write about it. Someone thinks I’m a spy for the Ethiopian government??? I gotta write about that. Seeing celebrities at our church is a weekly occurrence, but seeing Britney Spears at our church? Sitting right behind us? And the paparazzi swarm that follows her? I gotta write about that. Our neighbors just got chickens that are keeping us up all night??? Gotta write about that. I really didn’t get as upset about things that happened, as long as I could blog about it. More fodder for my blog? Bring it on.

And then Bob Ross came back into my life. Well, actually I re-discovered his show, The Joy of Painting, and I’ve been on a downward spiral ever since then. I TIVO his shows, watching whenever there is a new episode I haven’t seen. Heck, I don’t even mind watching the shows I have seen recently. It’s like a drug. His soothing voice. The microphone that must be attached to the canvas, that records all the brush-mark sounds, knife-scraping sounds.... it’s better than Valium. I think. Actually I’ve never taken Valium, but it seems better than my imagination of what it would be like to take Valium. Maybe I should switch to talking about wine. Yes. Bob Ross’ show is better than a glass of red wine. But perhaps not as tasty when you’re chowing down on a nice filet. Ok, I’m going no where with this example. Moving on.

Maybe it’s the relaxed state I find myself in when I watch the show. Perhaps I’m more suggestible while in the Bob-Ross-trance. But he tells me over and over, “You can paint anything you want in your own little world.” and things like, “See? Everyone can paint.” and, “You can do this.”

And then I start believing him and thinking to myself: You know what? Maybe I can do this! And that leads to eBay, and the Bob Ross Master Painting Kit, odorless paint thinner.... an easel.... and, well, you know where this led. I’ve only got three paintings under my belt and already I’ve lost the urge to blog. My creative outlet took a 90 degree turn and is now obsessed with painting. I even dream about painting now. Like a quickly spreading disease, filtering through my mind. Bob told me this would happen. Yes he did. He said, “Once you start painting, you’ll find you will see the whole world differently.” And you know what? Bob’s right.

At times in the car, instead of getting inspired to blog about a subject, I’m glancing out the window and noticing a tree in the center median of the street and visualizing in my head how I would paint it. I find myself lost in thoughts, thinking about which brush I would use, what colors I’d use to highlight that tree. WHAT THE HECK???? Maybe it’s Bob’s fault. Maybe he’s sending subliminal messages during his show when he knows everyone will be relaxed and highly suggestible. Perhaps it would have been better if he was sending messages like, “Don’t drink so much Dr. Pepper” and, “Get back on your treadmill” and, “File all those papers in that huge pile on your desk”.

I don’t know what the answer is. For now, I’m determined to not give up on my little blog here. All three of you who read it are counting on me to continue. I just need to find a way to balance my blogging with painting, with motherhood, with homeschool, with being a wife and being a friend. And if something needs to go? Maybe my friends. Sorry friends. Too much on my plate. Who needs friends anyway? Bob says the trees are my friends. And trees don’t care if I don’t call or email them back.

And see? My lack of urge to blog gave me a whole topic to blog about. There. That should appease the masses the three of you at least until next week.

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