Sunday, January 13, 2008


So I’m trying to figure out a way to eliminate the neighbor’s chickens. I’m tired of being woken up repeatedly. And yes, they DO have a rooster, so he makes sure to cock-a-doodle-doo when the sun rises.

Picture me... all nice and snugly on my tempur-pedic mattress, under my down comforter, peacefully snoozing, when all of the sudden a reoccurring noise wakes me from my ambien induced deep sleep. At first I think it’s one of my kids calling for me. I sit up in bed, only to realize it’s those blankety-blank chickens again. This happens EVERY single day. At first I thought the idea of our neighbors getting chickens was amusing. Hey, more fodder for my blog, I thought.

Now I just want them eliminated.

Last night after the kids were in bed, Marshall and I were enjoying our evening snuggle on the couch while watching TV. Instead of paying attention to the TV, we began brainstorming about what to do with the neighbor’s chickens. Marshall suggested some night-vision goggles and an air rifle. I suggested importing a coyote from the hills to take care of them. Of course we’d have to make a deal with the coyote that he could have the neighbor chickens if he left our outside kitty alone. No matter how much I despise the chickens, I will NOT sacrifice our kitty in the process of eliminating them. Probably. Ask me again after another two weeks of being woken up.

So how many chickens do the neighbors have, and what kind of set up do they have in their backyard for the chickens? Well, from what I could tell from standing on a chair and looking over the 7 foot wall between our houses, while Marshall was helping me balance, (because of my little vertigo problem) they have at least two chickens. I saw a hen and a rooster just walking around their backyard. No chicken coop. Just loose chickens. Could have been more chickens. That’s all I could see from where I was standing. And I’m pretty sure our neighbors didn’t see me, what with the ski mask I was wearing and everything.

Feel free to insert your own “why did the chicken cross the road” jokes here. I’m thinking ‘cause they saw Marshall approaching them with his air rifle...

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