(ok, so maybe she has no idea I'm posting this again)
Wow, my sister is so amazing!!! Actually she told me to say that. Really. She did. But she is really amazing whether she told me to say that or not. I mean, LOOK at these amazing handmade cards that she makes!!! And these are just a small sampling of her amazing cards. And any of these cards can be YOURS for the low, low price of $2.00 or $3.00 per card, depending on the size. All cards are blank inside. But WAIT, there’s MORE! If you
call log on to her website in the next 5 minutes, you will get FREE shipping!!! Ok, ok, so you don’t have to log on in the next five minutes. Everyone actually gets free shipping. (Sorry, U.S. orders only; offer valid on orders of $15.00 or more )
Not convinced yet? Come on, you NEED to buy some of these handmade cards. You can even pretend that YOU made them. (as long as the recipient doesn’t look at her logo on the back of the card.) Oh no, I’m not encouraging you to lie... that’s WRONG. Just kidding about that. Hee hee.
Still not convinced? How about the fact that she agreed to give me 50% of her profits? So by buying these cards, you’re actually helping ME out, which is the most important thing here, right? Well, actually, to be completely truthful, she didn’t promise me a cut of her profits. I don’t get anything whether you buy her cards or not. No folks, my reward is just my sister’s love. Which I’ve been denied my whole life and if you buy her cards, I’ll finally get the acceptance and love from her that I’ve been longing for, for 33 long years. Are ya crying yet? I am. sniff, sniff.
And did I mention she’s a single mother of 14 children???? Well I probably didn’t mention it because she only has two children. And she’s married. But her husband is a Dr. Pepper addict like me, and he needs her to sell these cards so she can support his habit. Otherwise he’ll beat her. Well, no he won’t because he’s a really awesome guy, but you STILL NEED TO BUY SOME OF HER CARDS!!!!
GO. NOW. TO. HER. WEBSITE. AND. BUY.
Do it or I’ll go on strike and never write in my blog again. At least for a couple of days.