Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Conversations That Make Me Feel Icky


During homeschool yesterday, my 7 year old got curious about his birth and started asking questions. After I reminded him that newborns can’t walk or crawl, he chimed in:

Haven: “So I just laid there and said ‘waaaaaa’ and would go ‘nuck, nuck, nuck’” (imitating a sucking noise)”

Me: “Yep

Haven: “And I drank from those things?” (he says as he points at my chest.)

Me: “Yep

Haven: “And I would suck, suck, suck on those?” (again pointing at my chest)

Me: “Um, yep (starting to writhe a bit in my seat)

Haven: “Wasn’t that a little gross? For me to suck on your privates?”

Me: “No, that’s the beautiful way God made us. Um, yeah when you put it that way, it’s a little gross.” (feeling totally icky now)

Haven: “And you had to lift your shirt up and show your privates every time I wanted to eat?”

Me: “Uh, huh. Um, let’s get back to math now.”

Changing the subject is my new coping technique for avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Maybe I should have pulled out my old standard, “Look! A bald monkey!” earlier in the conversation.

I never thought I’d be grateful for bottle feeding the second two kids, but thank God I don’t have to go through this conversation again in a few years with them.

Me (in a few years): “Yep, you were fed from a plastic bottle. Nothing icky or uncomfortable about that! Now get back to your school work.”

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