During homeschool yesterday, my 7 year old got curious about his birth and started asking questions. After I reminded him that newborns can’t walk or crawl, he chimed in:
Haven: “So I just laid there and said ‘waaaaaa’ and would go ‘nuck, nuck, nuck’” (imitating a sucking noise)”
Haven: “And I drank from those things?” (he says as he points at my chest.)
Haven: “And I would suck, suck, suck on those?” (again pointing at my chest)
Me: “Um, yep” (starting to writhe a bit in my seat)
Haven: “Wasn’t that a little gross? For me to suck on your privates?”
No, that’s the beautiful way God made us. Um, yeah when you put it that way, it’s a little gross.” (feeling totally icky now)
Haven: “And you had to lift your shirt up and show your privates every time I wanted to eat?”
Me: “Uh, huh. Um, let’s get back to math now.”
Changing the subject is my new coping technique for avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Maybe I should have pulled out my old standard, “Look! A bald monkey!” earlier in the conversation.
I never thought I’d be grateful for bottle feeding the second two kids, but thank God I don’t have to go through this conversation again in a few years with them.
Me (in a few years): “Yep, you were fed from a plastic bottle. Nothing icky or uncomfortable about that! Now get back to your school work.”