Monday, August 20, 2007

Life's Rain

The problem with setting a light and humorous tone with this blog is: What do you do when something not so light and humorous happens?

I was not going to write about this, but I’m finding myself with a bit of writer’s block that I don’t think will go away until I address it.

While we were in Florida, a close family member made a very mean spirited comment directed at one of my children. No one was more shocked than I. I immediately stood up for my child, let them know I wouldn’t tolerate this kind of statement when it comes to my children and I asked for reassurance that it would not happen again. This close family member saw nothing wrong with what they said and in fact let me know that they would continue to make those kinds of comments in the future.

So what do you do then? Where do your loyalties lie? There was a time where I fiercely believed that no matter what family members did or said, you do not cut them off. I believed that cutting off a family member would send a powerful and damaging message to our adopted children. I believed it would send the message that if our children messed up, they would be out of the family too. What exactly does “forever family” mean to our kids if we cut off another family member?

So what do you do when you feel you need to protect your children from comments that could scar them for life?

Well that’s what I’m trying to figure out right now. My duty is to my kids. I’ve decided not to cut off this family member but I’m laying down boundaries. Boundaries that I feel are necessary right now to protect my children.

Still, it’s unbelievably sad when you see a side to a close family member that you did not know they had. It’s painful when the relationship has to change.

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