Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Can You Guess Where We're Going?

We’re leaving tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn for a family vacation.

Butt Crack of Dawn: So early that it’s painful.

We’re going to my hometown. We’ll visit my folks and old friends. It’s also where Marshall went to school and the town where we met and married.

So, I gave you hints: cottonmouth, alligator and manatee.... and let’s certainly not leave out the mosquitos and fire ants. You know where we’re going?

Give yourself a hearty pat on the back if you guessed Florida! Orlando, to be specific. If any of you are familiar with Florida, you will notice there is a certain insect or devil’s spawn that I left out of my little collage. Those huge flying roaches. Sorry, my intense phobia does not allow me to. That’s right. I can not even look at a picture of a roach without flipping out. Not sure how I’m going to handle the roaches when we are there.

With a current heat index of 109 and 80% humidity, it promises to be downright pleasant. It’s like your own personal sauna following you around all day (and night). Who needs to spend money at the fancy spas when you can go to Orlando and get steamy for free? And no need to iron your clothes!

And of course how could I forget the biggest benefit of going to Orlando! You know where we’re going. Oh yea. That’s right. We’re going to Gatorland!!!!! A theme park/zoo dedicated to all things alligator (and snakes). You think a silly little fake mouse could top that? No way.

Oh, and any thieves out there that want to take advantage of our absence... we have a high tech alarm system with armed response. And if that doesn’t stop you, our hairless kitty is trained to attack any intruders. She will go straight for the jugular. Don’t believe me? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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